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February
23rd, 1635.
I wus standing
in tha town square of tha French town 'o St. Kitts South after
recruiting a few more men and an officer. Well, I decides ta visit
tha gov'nor this day 'n as I entered tha geezers posh 'ouse, tha Git
asks me what I wants. So I talks to 'im, politely of course, and tha
poncey French bastid tells me ta piss off in no uncertain terms!
So I asks yew,
what could I do? I had less dan twenty marines, a handful 'o
muskets, and hardly any bleedin' ammo fer me cannons! Well me
hearties, I tells ye what I did... I attacked tha friggin' town -
dats what.
Now I knows a
full-on assault 'o tha place would be suicidal, even though dis
French cess-pitt be lightly guarded.
Me landin'
party consisted of ney more'n fifteen marines - and no cannons fer
support. So we's gotta be a bit clever in us approach to tha
assault.
Anyhow, instead
'o sendin' in me men straight away, I gets me Brig ta up-anchor 'n
slowly sail parallel to tha dock where a group 'o townsfolk 'n
redcoats where gathered watching a poor swab be hanged by 'is neck
until 'e wus dead.
Tha
unsuspecting buggers left it too late ta see me ship open up wit a
good raking of tha dock, and tha silly buggers where blown ta bits
try'n ta flee tha commotion.
Me gunners
aboard tha Brig were a bit too eager though, 'cos tha swabs blew up
tha shipwrights and a warehouse too!
Anyhow, silly
landlubbers have a tendency to be curious buggers, and it wasn't
long before another swarm of 'em headed fer tha dock ta see what wus
happenin'.
Blew those
bastids ta bits too.
Now, me waitin'
marines looked on in glee as only a handful 'o townsfolk remained,
and we wasted ney time in 'elpin' ourselves to all tha meagre riches
of this fine French hovel.
Well maties,
low and bleedin' well behold, tha French greaseball gov'nor wus all
apologetic towards his behaviour to me when we knocked on 'is door.
In fact, tha quivering swine wus more'n willin' ta let one 'o me
fine officers succeed 'im in tha post 'o new 'pirate' gov'nor 'o St.
Kitts South.
As fer Mr
Frenchy bastid, well, he likes 'is new home atop me mast in a nice
lil' gibbet cage we prepared fer him earlier.
After a few
rums wit me mates and a bit 'o whorin' wit tha surviving gentry
wenches, we's headin' fer Margarita on tha 'morrow.
Cap'n Cognito,
23rd day 'o February, 1635.
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